Friday, January 22, 2010

Dealing With Problems - This too shall pass.

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: “And this, too, shall pass away.” How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
Life is about evolution growth and personal development, we can actively move through it with that idea in mind or we can just allow life to deliver its challenges and surprises as it sees fit. Either way we all encounter “problems”, rich, poor, weak, strong, young or old. Life continually challenges us to learn and become more capable. We label these challenges as problems, often, they feel uncomfortable and that is our guide.
Whenever we feel discomfort it is because we are being called or guided towards change, but resisting it, our discomfort signals an opportunity for improvement but for most of us we view it not as an opportunity but as a setback, an obstacle, hassle, a pain in the bum…
Take the simple example of a hangover from drinking alcohol. Its generally accepted that feeling hung over is not very pleasant but even though we’ve had many hangovers before we continue to drink and our bodies continue to tell us that we are poisoning ourselves. That is fine though, its our choice. It is also familiar territory (if you drink), you’ve had hangovers before and you know that this feeling, “too, shall pass” and that you can choose again whether to drink or not when the time comes.
Hangovers are quite easy to deal with because we can see so clearly that we created the problem. Well not everybody sees it that way I suppose, I’ve known many blame their ill feeling on “the dodgy meat pie, kebab, curry etc. etc.” but you can be fairly certain that if they hadn’t combined the trash food with a gallon of booze then they’d actually be feeling much better. Anyway, I digress, my point is that with a problem such as dealing with the results of excess drinking we are able to see its immediate cause and recognise the transitory nature of its presence. With other problems we tend to be less accepting and more complaining.
We find our partner is having an affair, get dumped, or we lose our job, have and accident, fail to be paid money owed to us etc. any number of problems. If you run a business then you’ll likely experience times when almost your entire day is spent dealing with problems, staff absence, sickness, equipment breakdowns, finance and payment difficulties, awkward customers and suppliers, sales declines or sudden surges in demand and on it goes…
Each problem asks you “so what do you want now?” and calls you in search of a solution. With experience you come to realise that with any problem “too, shall pass.” Building upon this awareness further allows you to relax into and possibly even enjoy a problem, they only become stressful if you continue to perceive them as big threatening, stressful problems.
A problem isn’t really the problem or cause of your discomfort, rather it is your reaction of resisting to accepting and dealing with the problem that is causing you the greatest discomfort and stress. Its a subjective thing, you experience something as a “big issue” but to someone else, familiar with such matters, it could very well be a “non issue”, no problem at all. Its only your problem because of your perception.
No, “that’s not right”, you say, “If such and such hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t be feeling this way” and in part that is true as well, but you can choose to feel differently and you’re still stuck with the problem anyway. Can you really create a life free of problems, challenge and difficulties? Would you really want to live like that? Perhaps what you’d like is to be able to pick and choose your problems instead?
Well, I suggest that is what you are already doing, but in a less than fully conscious manner, an aspect of the greater you is calling your problems into your life for you to grow and interact with, to learn and evolve from. In “Law Of Attraction” terms its the vibration you are offering to life and to which life is responding.
You’re already getting exactly you want, exactly the circumstances will give you the greatest opportunity for growth and development but you keep choosing to see that as a problem. You think “aargh! This is a problem” and Life says “Yep, your right, it is a problem” but the very moment you begin accepting and looking instead for a solution then Life starts responding “oh yes of course there is a solution, lets keep looking…”
And anyway:~
“this, too, shall pass”
When I was seventeen I decided one lonesome evening that life was a problem, a futile pursuit. My angry solution was to swallow nearly 100 aspirin, “who needs life anyway!”. In hospital the following day having experienced the grim reality of astrally looking down at the anxious face of my worried mother followed by the shame of vomiting repeatedly over the long suffering nurse attempting to pump my stomach I realised deeply just how happy and lucky I was to be alive. Just how few problems I actually had. It was all a case of perception.
The next day I was up and about, happily smiling, and taking tea to other patients on the ward. My life was changed irrevocably for the better because I had gained a fresh value and perception of the gift of life through nearly losing it. I’ve never looked back.
Attempting suicide is an extremely selfish, poor solution, not to be recommended at all. Trust me I’ve been there.
It never needs to get that bad just practice re-framing and toying your problem into more manageable scenarios, look past them for solutions and if you’re really in the pit of anger or despair then take a risk and reach out to someone for help, support and love.
You’re never alone.

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